In May 2008, the week before Memorial Day, I was coasting towards the finish line. I had successfully prepared my 9th grade students for the World History end of course test. Summer was in sight. My kids had already taken their Standards of Learning (short for SOL test…yes, for real) and I was looking forward to projects that allowed my students to create awesome products and explore areas of history that interested them the most. Some kids created castles, others practiced monologues that focused on Roman emperors.
Then, it happened.
My phone rang while I was eating dinner with friend. I had a premonition that I needed to answer. What I learned was one of my 9th graders had died in a car crash. She wasn’t wearing her seat belt. She was in her best friend, Stephanie’s car, headed to the movies. Her boyfriend was in the backseat. He survived. Taylor died. So did her best friend, Stephanie.
Taylor was one of those students that you relished having in class. She was silly. She was funny. She lifted up her classmates in a way that made them smile from the inside. Even when her lips weren’t smiling, her blue eyes were. Slightly mischievous. A perfect mix of inquiry and wisdom beyond her years…
As teachers, we aren’t supposed to have favorites. But as a former teacher, I know that’s crap. We are human. Some humans (like Taylor and the kids in my 1st block class), we connect with immediately. As their first block teacher, I saw them prior to school starting. Chatting. Flirting. Talking about life.
On the way to school, the day after Memorial weekend I cried. And cried. And cried. I cried for the empty desk that would be in my 1st block class. I cried for Taylor’s family. I cried because my 15 year old student could have been saved if she would have simply worn her seat belt.
I cried all the way to work. Uncontrollably. Then I called my mom. She told me to be strong and not shed tears in front of the kids. But I didn’t listen. As each student filed in my class and took their seat, I greeted them with a hug (if they wanted one) and my condolences. We didn’t do “work” that day. We talked about Taylor. We created a memorial display to hang outside our classroom.
What I learned about teaching that day certainly wasn’t a part of my teacher prep program.
Typically, I am not overtly emotional but that day, anticipating and seeing Taylor’s empty seat, I let my guard down. I showed my kids that it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to grieve the loss of a student and/or fellow classmate. I also learned it was OK to cry and even more than OK to show that I, too, was human.
In the aftermath of Taylor’s tragic accident, our school Technology Department designed bumper stickers to sell. We mass produced them and sold the stickers for $5 each. We earned over $1000 to go towards the Junior Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). We choose that charity because Taylor’s best friend, Stephanie, was diabetic and they both were active in raising funds for those with juvenile diabetes.
Since then, Taylor’s parents have created a scholarship fund to honor their daughter’s memory. As a teacher, I tried to impress the importance of wearing seat belts on my students. My class held a seat belt pledge for our entire high school.
I truly struggled with how to sufficiently honor Taylor’s life. I think of her often. I still keep in touch with her parents, Greg and Tammy. Taylor’s good friend, Cristen, actually designed my site logo and header. Isn’t it amazing?! Regardless, Taylor will forever be a part of my heart.
Rest in peace, sweet Taylor Marie. I know you are singing, dancing, laughing, and whispering in the ears of your loved ones to buckle up….for family, for friends, for love, for life.
I met Taylor’s mother, Tammy, after this. Thanks for writing about Taylor so I can know more about her. XO
Kim- her family is an inspiration. Strong and sweet!
Oh, Cat, what a beautiful tribute. I know you will always remember Taylor and Stephanie. It is healing to remember, as I see in the comments from others who read your post. Thank you for sharing with us, and with Taylor’s family, friends, and former teachers. Your writing has touched many. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Denise
Thank you, Denise. I will always remember them…yes, it is healing and it’s also nice to know that through our memories they live on : )
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful memorial and for everything you have done to honor Taylor’s life. It means so much to our family to hear how Taylor touched the lives of so many people. We will always have a piece of our hearts missing, but the happy memories of Taylor and hearing about the effect she had on those around her is what keeps us going❤️
HI Beth! No thanks needed….Taylor touched the lives of so many…and continues to do so : )
Thank you for writing this beautiful tribute to sweet Taylor. I know she loved many of her teachers and enjoyed her freshman year of high school. She spent Memorial Day weekend at the beach with us that year, and I bought her the three Twilight books that teenagers were obsessed with then. She read all three that weekend. When the fourth book in the series came out some time later, that was another time that I (her Aunt Kathy) felt the void of losing her. We all still fill that void. It means so much to people in our family that teachers like you remember her and honor her kind, vivacious spirit. As a teacher approaching retirement, I know how hard it is to lose a student. I, too, had an empty seat in my room one year, and it was so hard to know how to help the other kids. Thank you for being a caring teacher who figured that part out!
Kathy- congrats on your retirement in the near future! It’s not hard to remember Taylor and her infectiously happy spirit. I admire Tammy, Greg, and Matthew so much for how they have persevered. They exhibit such strength…well, her entire family does!
This is so touching Mrs. Weers. I absolutely loved that class. We had our own little family. And I still, to this day, appreciate that hug.
Yes, we did have our own little family. I can promise you I needed that hug just as much as you. I’m so very proud of you, Cristen.
You don’t know how much it means to our family that you would so eloquently express your feelings about my niece. The years go by, yet I remember so vividly that horrific day that forever changed our family. Your support and the bumper stickers warning others to buckle up is such a wonderful way to honor Taylor’s life and spirit! God bless you for your genuine expression of love and compassion. Pam Carroll
Pam, I loved Taylor. She taught me so much about life. I think of her often, especially this time of year.
This is wonderful! Thank you for continuing to keep Tay’s memory alive! I love the picture of us at tastefully twisted, that was a great day of healing
Hi Skyler! I also love the pic of us in the icecream parlor where Taylor worked.This time of year always reminds me of her. Hope you are well : )
I, too, taught Taylor. Her loss has left a hole in my heart .
Lynn, same here. She was such a lovely person…!!!
What a beautiful memorial to Taylor. I know her loss left a big hole in some many lives.
Thanks, Terri!